Top 10 Things To Do To Screw Up Breastfeeding

1. Buy formula and make sure it is in your hospital bag before “the day”. It is best to be always ready. However, do not worry if you forgot this part because the hospital might be able to give you a sample for free! Yey!

2. Listen to breastfeeding myths especially as advised by people who does not even have kids. They seem to know a lot.

3. Do not research on breastfeeding. It’s tacky and shopping for baby’s stuff is waaay better than studying. Right?!

4. Make sure you stay away from any breastfeeding seminars or support group meetings. These are always swarmed by experienced breastfeeding mothers. They’re sometimes annoying.

5. Do not include Essential Newborn Care (Unang Yakap) into your birth plan. Breastfeeding is a natural thing. It should be easy.

6. Use the breast pump during baby’s first week. Once you see how much milk you have pumped, you will see you can’t make enough for baby.

7. If milk does not come in right away, give baby formula or sucrose water. You can latch later. Make sure you give it in a bottle. The baby should learn to feed from the bottle right away. The earlier, the better!

8. Clean, clean, clean! Make sure you clean your nipples with sterilized water before every feeding.

9. At the first sign of a breastfeeding problem, resort to formula feeding. It is so much easier that way. Do you really want to go through all of those breastfeeding woes?

10. Refuse to contact lactation consultants or breastfeeding counselors. They are just a waste of your time and money.

Do you have more tips? Share it!

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The Lazy Mama

I'm a WAHM, Struggling Wifey, Breastfeeding Advocate and Belly Dancer. The Lazy Mama always finds the easiest and most efficient ways to do mama stuff.

  • MummyinProvence

    So true! Wow!!! Love the people, especially those without breasts who offer advice!

  • APandaTurtle

    Make sure you give up after a clogged duct, or mastitis. And if you think you have mastitis, and a Doctor tells you that you don’t, believe them, they’re probably right.

    STOP! As soon as they have a first tooth! Many family members will tell you to, and you should!

    And don’t breastfeed past the first year, or past two! It’s what other people do! And being accepted socially is SUPER important!

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  • Anne MP

    I screwed up breastfeeding by having a very low threshold to pain. I guess moms have to be super tough to endure the pains of breastfeeding :)
    Anne MP recently posted..Diamond Hotels Box of Chocolate

  • kimps

    i couldn’t agree more. there are so many breastfeeding myths that you would think that these are all true. i learned my lesson well. first thing i ask (and i ask them nicely) is if they have successfully breastfed their kid until they weaned. if they say they havent then i dont listen.

    1. The Lazy Mama

      Thanks for all your contributions! I have this urge to fight back but instead I just give them my sweetest most sarcastic smile.

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