Since I started this blog, I have always been open about my feelings about breastfeeding but I don’t remember mentioning why I breastfeed or why I kept at it. I think it’s because I started the blog more than a year since I started breastfeeding.
I believe I mentioned how breastfeeding got to me from the last carnival. But that was it. Those commercials really got to me like it was the natural thing to do. Hmmm… I just realized I should be careful because these commercials could really be convincing.
Anyways, I just have this little apprehension at first: the boob size. Literally, I have cup AA. And the only reason I have cup A bras is because it’s the smallest I could get my hands on. I have seen some brands that carry the size but they’re pretty pricey.
A relative once mentioned to me about another relative who’s got chubby kids because the mother was well-endowed. Only to realize later on that she did not breastfeed for very long and that breastfed kids aren’t always chubby and that boob size didn’t matter at all.
What’s the real reason I started breastfeeding?
I was stubborn.
Yes, I am.
Before I gave birth, I learned all of the benefits it gives to both the mother and the baby. I want it and I wanted it bad. There is only very little percentage of mothers who can’t breastfeed and I was pretty convinced that I am part of the larger group. Despite my small frame and underweight body, I know I would be able to breastfeed.
After delivery and cleaning up the baby (I was not aware of the breast crawl at the time), we tried to latch but was not successful. The whole day, the husband and my Mom are worried that little Jack Jack would go hungry. They want to feed him something. Anything. I said no.
Even the resident pediatrician said little Jack Jack needs to eat something. Still, I said no.
As stubborn as I am, I never purchased any amount of formula milk before I gave birth. And I guess that was a good thing for me. Because the temptation to open a can of formula would require for people to purchase it outside the hospital before they could feed it to baby Jack Jack. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.
Baby Jack Jack was not roomed in during the first night because I wanted to rest during the first night. Wrong! What rest? The husband wheeled me to the nursery every three hours! I gave birth in the wee hours of the morning and then the next night, I have to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed. I should have roomed him in the first day. Little Jack Jack never latched those times I almost gave up. I even asked the husband if I could give up. Good thing he said no.
The next morning, almost exactly 24 hours after he came into our lives, I still wanted to breastfeed. I rented the hospital breast pump. I produced about half a teaspoon and fed it to little Jack Jack. It frustrated me that I could only produce that little. And then, he latched! Yes!
I think the breast pump somehow helped as it has already triggered my milk let down and little Jack Jack did not have to wait for it. Although it got me to believe at the time that I’ve got that little milk.
That morning, I asked the husband to buy me Natalac (Malunggay capsules). That I consumed three times that day. Without prescription.
That second day was also the day that baby Jack Jack was roomed in. I was so happy that he has finally learned how to latch. It hurts as hell, as I remembered, because I was gritting my teeth the whole time he’s feeding. And the latch was only on the right side. My left breast has a flat nipple which is making it difficult for him to latch.
That second night with little Jack Jack roomed in wasn’t easy either but I got to have more sleep I guess.
When we got home the next day, I researched on how to make him latch on a flat nipple. Both of us got frustrated but we were able to make it work after I pinched the areola with the forefinger and middle finger (scissor-like) upon latching. It was pretty difficult. But I was able to get him to latch.
That flat nipple caused me engorgement. And because I do not want to wash my breast pump, I learned hand expression to relieve me of the engorgement.
That flat nipple also caused me really sore, bleeding nipples. But it turned out, it’s just fine to feed on that side even if it’s bleeding. Just check that your latch and position are correct.
The hospital also taught me to clean my nipples every feeding. That also added to an even more sore nipples. Later at home, I became lazy to clean it every feeding. Good thing that breastmilk’s got antibacterial properties. Turns out you only need to clean it with water during bath time which can be just once a day!
Lastly, that flat nipple caused my boobs to be uneven for a while. The right side also produces more milk than the other. But I’m thankful that I got to make it work for both sides. Whew! Almost had to purchase a nursing bra with different cup sizes!
I continued breastfeeding because it got so much easier. It wasn’t until later that I found out that it was the perfect thing for me. Jack Jack would turn 39 months next week and we’re still breastfeeding at night and some of his afternoon naps.
I have probably set my mind into breastfeeding. God knows I would have been devastated if I failed breastfeeding. But that’s just me. I’m glad that I’m stubborn. One day, I know it will cause me trouble. But definitely, not this time.
- 10 Habits I Got From Breastfeeding (thelazymama.net)
- 15 Other Stuff You Can Do While Breastfeeding or Pumping (thelazymama.net)
- A Simple Breastfeeding Campaign (thelazymama.net)